I Am Number Four

A group of aliens find themselves on earth and are being hunted, for reasons that aren't apparently relevant in a specific order by another group of aliens, who look copyright infringingly close to the Wraith. This is explained helpfully in a voice over right at the start in order to get any kind of plot out of the way as soon as is possible. The bad guys have bagged three of them already and our hero is, as you might imagine Number Four.

Except that he's not really our hero. He's certainly the main character, but I was left with the distinct impression that it was not him with whom the audience was intended to identify. See, this is not some sci fi Harry Potter, where the he's a lonely bespectacled kid who discovers he's special, obviously appealing to the kind of children who read a lot. No, Mr. Four is tall and tanned, mysterious and kind, entirely composed of abs and who discovers he's special.

This is just Twilight with bleeding aliens, the guy is all glowy and handsome. They aimed it at preteen girls who'll probably identify with the geeky yet beautiful chick, who hates all the fakes at her school, and who our beefcake meets in his new town. Attractive chap who is literally born to protect things falls for her, and in a stunningly shameless piece of fan service, comes from a race who only ever fall in love the one time. Everything here seems to support her fantasy, and not his. Yes, he has powers but there's little in the way of exploration, no fear or difficulty with them, they seem to exist purely to make him seem more impressive.

So, largely due to a misrepresentative trailer, I wondered in expecting a dodgy science fiction /coming of age movie, only to discover I was watching what is basically a teen romance with some drivel about aliens. And it's all horribly flimsy. Elements are introduced almost wholesale from other stories, with no twists or exploration. There's a sassy action chick who arrives to save them all, but those three words tell you literally everything about her. Character development is a term alien to it's writers. The powers he develops don't have any kind of meaning and there's no period of learning, as if someone has heard about comic book heroes but never gotten around to reading about them.

And that's just it. The film is chock full of things from other stories but with no apparent understanding of how they actually work. They're just there because they might appeal to the target audience. As if you pack a film with enough of the individual things you've seen work before, it's bound to be a winner even if the result is complete and utter nonsense.